This might be a hot take….but self-help should not be a long-term solution!

What I mean by “self-help” is the billion-dollar industrial kind…the podcasts, the books, the endless systems and theories…hell, perhaps even this post!

Before you get defensive, I’m not actually saying you should stop seeking self-improvement….cmon, that would be extremely hypocritical of me!

There is so much great wisdom out there, and so many helpful concepts and exercises that have changed people’s lives in a real way.

There is definitely a role the “self-help” industry plays…

But perpetual consumption without ACTION is not “self-help”, it’s just more noise.

This is not a post about whether self-help is beneficial, but it is about questioning your relationship to it.

If simply consuming self-help content was enough to illicit real change, then more of us would be living fulfilling and happy lives.

But that’s not the reality.

So where is the disconnect happening?

What happens between seeking and doing?

5 REASONS ENDLESS “SELF-HELP” IS NO LONGER SERVING YOU:

Reason #1: We’ve become self-help junkies

These days, “self-help” is sold as easy-to-digest sound bites, momentary glimpses into what we could be, and temporary highs of inspiration that fade just as quickly.

We’re more addicted to how self-help makes us feel about ourselves than actually creating a long-term and sustainable solution for ourselves.

My definition of a “self-help junkie” is someone who voraciously consumes endless hours of content to give themselves the temporary illusion of actual change. It feels so good because it seems like we’re “doing something about it” without actually intentionally creating a system to follow through on any of it!

Keyword = follow through

If you look at the actual behavioral changes of “self-help junkies”, it does not correspond to the number of hours spent reading books, watching documentaries, and listening to podcasts.

So, what’s wrong with learning about how others are achieving success/happiness/fulfillment?

Absolutely nothing. I’ve read my fair share of business and spirituality books….

But use it as a tool, not a crutch.

Just as you wouldn’t keep looking for a hammer after you’ve already nailed in your frame….if you find what works for YOU, stop wasting your time and energy continuing the search for another hammer. It works, move on.

Reason #2: We want personal growth to be quick and painless

I’m sorry to break it to you, but personal growth is not easy.

At best, the self-help industry can relieve some hardship or give you systems that can assist…but they can’t do the work for you. It can be less-painful, but not pain-free.

If your goal is to actually create REAL change in your life, you have to shift your mindset away from self-help to self-exploration.

In a “help” mindset, you’re seeking answers from external sources in order to be told what to do. You want an easy recipe to replicate to achieve the same desired outcome as so-and-so. This will never work because you’re a unique person.

An “exploration” mindset, is one with a bias towards action…trial and error. There’s no way to explore without action. This mindset requires you to leverage ideas and inspiration from self-help content only as tools to explore YOUR OWN mind, emotional responses, triggers….in order to create an inner map of who you are.

A map that leads to your inner wisdom, intuition and voice.

To practice the “self-exploration” mindset, you have to spend more time actively practicing these theories than just passively consuming. Doing the work is uncomfortable, it’s awkward, and it takes bravery and inner strength.

But that is the price of real evolution.

Reason #3: We’re not dedicating enough time to do the WORK

We all heard of the 80/20 rule right?

Applying it to our long-term personal growth, we should allocate NO MORE than 20% of our time consuming “self-help” content in order to find a few ideas and theories to test drive in our own lives.

The remaining 80%+ of our time should be dedicated to experimenting and trying out what works for us.

In the process of practice, we might find a better solution or discover something more effective for us…but we won’t know until we actually try.

To put it into practical terms, for each piece of self-help content you consume, you should take away 1 idea for you to test-drive in your own life for a week – a 1:1 ratio. After the week, if it works…keep going for as long as it’s working for you. If not, try something else.

The bottom line, if you’re not spending enough time actively practicing and listening to your own responses, you will never develop the ultimate self-help tool….a connection to your own intuition.

Reason #4: We’re forgetting the SELF in “self-help”

Your personal evolution isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Remember that other people’s version of “success” is not your version of success. Their version of happy is different from your version of happy.

Only YOU know the answers to your own life.

Spend some time exploring:

• What motivates you to do the things you do?

• How could you create an impact for your community, your friends, or the world?

• What lights you up and brings you joy?

• What gifts, perspectives, talents, and passions make you unique?

• What does your ideal life consist of if fear, money, and time wasn’t an issue?

We’re so quick to overschedule our lives, we rarely have time to get quiet enough to listen to our deepest desires.

Instead, we chase distractions and fill the void with external noise (yes, even self-help content) that we end up gaslighting ourselves into thinking we’re not worthy of our wildest dreams.

The solution? Listening, nurturing, and amplifying our inner voice — our intuition.

Our intuition is a perfectly calibrated, foolproof self-help tool, made especially for us…….because it IS us.

No amount of external information could ever compete with that.

Reason #5: We don’t know when to stop chasing and when to start appreciating

I’ve seen it many times…when we feel fear, we tend to stay stuck in “research mode” as a delay tactic. We continue to consume self-help content in the hopes that it would quiet our inner fears and anxieties:

We’re not rich enough…
We’re not smart enough…
We don’t have enough skills…

But the truth is…

You ARE enough
You KNOW enough
You HAVE everything you need

The longer you stay in perpetual research and self-help consumption mode…the more you will subconsciously fuel the inner fears and lose confidence and excitement.

Rather than endlessly pursuing more more more, take a moment to list all the ways in which you already have everything you need to figure out a way forward.

You’ve got the curiosity, intelligence, resourcefulness, and creativity to create any reality you want.

You are the hero you’ve been waiting for.

TLDR;

If you’re not using the self-help industry to make you more aware and curious about exploring your OWN wisdom, and putting it into PRACTICE, then it’s time to step off that “self-help” treadmill and stand still with yourself for a while.

Did this resonate?

REPLY and let me know what you think!

P.S. If you’re ready to be an ACTIVE participant in your growth (not just thinking about it)…I’m looking for someone ready and willing to create real results in their lives! I have 1 spot available for private coaching support to help you in any of these areas: